jee-ZUS!

It’s Friday. I post that innocuous thing about Dungeons & Dragons, I do a little web de-zine for Boss. I talk to Manager about the current draft of Blood & Mist and about how it’s too big and I need to scale back one more time. I prepare to sit down and do a little writing. And at some point, I plan to post an online invite to my birthday party on Saturday.

But somewhere in there I get the crazy idea to open my computer up and do a little tinkering. You see, I have a new computer case I want to use and a new, massive hard drive I want to put in it. So I crack open the ol’ computer case, yank all the cards, disconnect everything and transfer the whole kit and kaboodle into the new case. I turn it on. The fans spin for a moment. Then stop. Nothing.

Bad power supply, maybe? I transfer it all back into the old case, piece by piece, drive by drive. Connect everything. Hit the power button.

Nothing.

This is bad. I have lots to do over the weekend. Ain’t no way I can spend the entire time figgering out what’s wrong with my motherboard. So I head off to Fry’s in Burbank. I get a new motherboard and CPU and return. I install it into the new case. Attach all the cards and cables and arrange all the requisite clumps of dust in their proper places and with trepidation, reach for the power button.

oops. Forgot the memory.

So I reach for the memory cards instead and discover that I’ve got the wrong kind. I’ll have to go back to Fry’s. But not now. I’ve agreed to go see Exorcist: The Beginning with Mark. Perhaps I’ll blog more on that later and write a few paragraphs on the staggering mundanity with which it slithered across the screen. Perhaps not. It’s uplifting, though in a way. It’s nice to see the occasional bad movie in the theater. Gives one hope.

Anyway, back to my boring ordeal, (my “bordeal,” as one might coin.) I return to Fry’s, mill about in front of the memory case with all the other people trying, like me, to attract the attention of the guy with the computer access without appearing obnoxious or pushy, and leave. I’m 512 megs richer in the memory department and about a hundred fifty bucks poorer in the “I need food” department.

This is what my desk looks like by now:

I install the memory, say a prayer to the Egyptian god Bast (because she’s kinda cool) and hit the power button. Nothing spins, nothing whirs, nothing clicks. The only thing that engages is a little alarm speaker that shrieks like a banshee. That can’t possibly be good.

By now I’ve had a couple beers. Tipsy is not the best way to install a brand new motherboard. One more beer and I’ll have equal luck trying to install a plate of vermicelli. But I gamely pull everything one last time and switch it all back to the old case, convinced by now that Pazuzu has set up shop in the new one. I connect the various noodles wires and press the ol’ power button.

Everything springs to life. Within moments, I’m happily up to my eyeballs in a brand spankin’ new installation of Windows 2000. It’s now Monday. I’m still rebuilding my system. And I’m only now able to gain access to this blog.

So anyway, sorry about that silent stretch. At least now you know what was up.